╰☆╮On the Brink of Bliss & Insanity╰☆╮

So long blogspot

2012-01-27T21:19:00.000-05:00

Due to blogspot not being able to do some things I want it to do I am relocating my blogs to Wordpress. I have imported the 2 blogs I already had and will start using that from now on. Here is the link http://toxicheartz.wordpress.com/. I will be deleting this blog in a week or so.

thanks blogspot for letting me ramble and share for the past couple of years :-)

Change is coming

2012-01-26T19:30:00.000-05:00

I have been thinking about what to do with my blog for a while. I was debating whether to delete it because I am no writer but if I want to get better at writing deleting this blog won't help that. Then I thought well lets just stick to Second Life stuff but we see how well that has worked. My RL has just affected my SL so much that its hard to stick to just SL talk. Sorry but all those that say SL is SL and RL is RL are wrong. SL will always be affected by RL and I am not ashamed of either life.

So your reading this and wondering what's the point of this post? Well the answer is I am going to be changing my blog to include all lives. I have been finding I have alot to say about so many different things lately and tbh Facebook is not the place for that.

I will be working on changing the look of my blog and the purpose. Its going to be about anything I feel like writing about because hey it's my blog and it should be ok to do that.

Another purpose of the change is because there is so many things in our world that I am just sick of. I hate the way people treat each other, pass judgements on other people, prejudices, the way the world today is just makes me shake my head alot and ask what is wrong with people.

This blog won't be all stuff I think is wrong. It will also be about what is right and I won't be ignoring SL or my health. As much as I would like to keep my health issues off the net I can't for me. This blog will be my 100% outlet.

If you choose to read it cool if not that's fine too because I am going to write for me. If you don't agree with something I post please don't take it personal. We all have our own take and opinions on things. Just be gentle lol

oh I will still be posting music. Music is my medicine :-)

til next time which won't be too long this time lol

pssttt Guen if you read this I know my punctuation SUCKS lol <3

Silence

2011-10-07T16:31:00.000-04:00

Sometimes when you have so much to say it is better to say nothing at all

I'm back \o/

2011-01-31T10:28:00.005-05:00

This post is long overdue but I have been concentrating on getting stronger and easing back in to SL.

I am back but not 100% back just yet. :-)

My surgery went well but not uneventful lol Seems someone was with me during my surgery and let the drs know they were there. A lamp clamp unexpectedly broke, a drill bit broke and the power went out. One of my arteries also broke so the dr had to go back in but as far as the surgery it went very well. I now have a pulmonary valve for the first time in my life. lol Unfortunately right now I feel the surgery did not do anything to improve things for me BUT I am still healing and have to go in to rehab when the pain eases up. The drs are surprised I am still in pain but I know to be patient because I seem to always take twice as long to heal. It sucks but its just the way its always been. So I am alive and kicking and ready to get back to djing.

I am really happy that I am slowly getting back to SL but my SL will never be the same for me. Unfortunately before I went offline I had a falling out with someone who has been a part of my SL for over 3 years and who was part of my RL. The falling out was over dumbass shit and instead of me stepping away for a few minutes and calming down I reacted. Too many emotions were going on and I just lost it. Fault was on both sides but unfortunately the damage was done. Live and learn I guess. :((

One thing I know that will never change is how much I love djing. I missed djing ALOT and 2 weeks ago I could tell I was starting to feel better because I was getting antsy to DJ. lol Sunday I am going to make my return set at Sanctuary Rock with the drunkey bunch and can't wait. Time to rock out!! \m/

TV really really sucks and wtf is this Jersey Shore crap?? Sorry I just don't get the appeal. I gave it a chance and that's 40 minutes I wasted.

I am hoping since my RL seems to have calmed down that this blog will get back to being about SL & music!

Rock on \m/

44 days 2011

2010-11-16T02:35:00.003-05:00

Think I said plenty yesterday so just sharing a video today. <3

45 days til 2011

2010-11-15T00:52:00.001-05:00

I figured it was time I showed my blog a little attention and posted some ramblings once again. I honestly have way too much shit going on in my head right now so hopefully what I write will not be a big mess.

As anyone who reads my blog knows my rl father was diagnosed with cancer earlier this year and from March til this month was undergoing treatment. He was diagnosed at stage 3 and from what the drs said his cancer was very bad but as of right now he kicked cancer's ass! He had a ultrasound and got his esophagus scoped and right now there is no cancer cells that they see. YAY!!!! He will have another scan in January which will be the big one because he was still showing the affects of the radiation. His oncologist was thrilled and I thought she was going to starting dancing in the office. lol

Now on to patient me :( My cath went real well and the dr closed 2 of the large extra blood vessels and now the real fun starts. lol Next month I will be going in the hospital for open heart surgery. As of right now the surgery is scheduled for December 13th and the dr said its not going to be a easy surgery. The surgery itself can take over 6-8 hours, I will be on a heart/lung machine but hopefully they will not have to freeze me (don't ask I didn't lol some things I really do not want to know). Recovery time is I have no idea! :(( So Lainey will be gone from SL for a while. :(( Its one of those things I really really really do not want to do but I know I have to do.

Until then I am djing my ass off and having as much fun as I possibly can!! I am actually hoping to DJ my last Sanctuary Rock set the day before my surgery. Have to party with the drunkey bunch \o/

My goal for 2011 well I have a few but starting my list now! This blog goes back to being about music, SL and silly shit and less about RL.

Speaking of lists when I was 16 and had my last big heart surgery I made a list of things I wanted to do when I got out of the hospital so I decided I am going to make another list. Top of the list is see Rammstein in Berlin!! \o/

til next time which hopefully will before I am carted off lol <3

46 days til 2011

2010-11-14T20:17:00.000-05:00

The DJ community lost one of our own this past week when DJ Jezy Bellic passed away in his sleep. I never met DJ Jezy and only know him by reputation and what I have been told by others that I feel like I know him. So many people have stopped by the forums and left amazing comments. DJ Jezy touched many lives through the music he played & his friendship. His memory will live on!

My good friend & fellow DJ Sarlah was Jezy's sister and Saturday morning she played Nickelback's If Today was Your Last Day so I am posting it here as a tribute to DJ Jezy.

In tribute, to Jezy Bellic!

Cae Diesel : Now i can say "God is a Dj"!

101 Days til 2011

2010-09-21T12:59:00.003-04:00

Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

101 more days til the year is over and that can not happen quick enough for me.

Some people might be asking where in the world is Lainey? I had to step away from SL for a while to gather some strength. Next Tuesday, the 28th of September, I will be going in the hospital for another cath but it will not be the same type of cath I had in January. This cath they are going to attempt to close one of the extra blood vessels my heart created. This particular vessel goes to my lung so they have to temporarily shut it off to see if it can be closed and if there is pain associated with closing it off. If there is pain they still will most likely close it and manage the pain with medication. Depending how this procedure goes I could have open heart surgery 6 weeks after the cath. I was going to wait til the 1st of the year to have the surgery but after thinking it over I am just going to go ahead and get it done sooner rather than later. I gave my dad all my strength to fight the cancer so I am trying to find some strength to fight what I need to go through. I am exhausted, worn out, frustrated and 100 other things so I thought it would be best to step away from SL for a bit to get myself ready for whats coming. My SL is a bit up in the air but I hope to be back djing before my surgery and as soon as I can afterwards. I have not had a heart surgery since I was a kid so no idea how it will go.

I am going to DJ one set before my cath and that will be Sunday with the drunkey bunch \o/ and I am hoping to log on a bit this week and hang out.

Hopefully soon this blog will return to be all about my SL and not my RL.

til next time <3

Within You Is The Strength To Meet Life's Challenges!

2010-09-11T22:10:00.000-04:00

You are stronger than you think,
remember to stand tall.

Every challenge in your life
helps you to grow.

Every problem you encounter
strengthens your mind and your soul.

Every trouble you overcome
increases your understanding of life.

When all your troubles weigh
heavily on your shoulders,
remember that beneath the burden
you can stand tall,
because you are never given
more than you can handle...
and you are stronger than you think.

Today is...11 September 2010

2010-09-11T12:02:00.000-04:00

“Time is passing. Yet, for the United States of America, there will be no forgetting September the 11th. We will remember every rescuer who died in honor. We will remember every family that lives in grief. We will remember the fire and ash, the last phone calls, the funerals of the children. “ ~President George W. Bush

September 11, 2001 started as just another but that quickly changed at 8:46 am when the first plane crashed in to the World Trade Center and the United States was forever changed. 2,996 people lost their lives that day, families lost loved ones and the entire country sat in horror and disbelief that this happened here.

Today we remember all the victims of 9/11 and I hope this never happens again!

Today is....23 August 2010

2010-08-24T01:32:00.002-04:00

and I have been neglecting my blog for a while but there has been a reason for that. The crap in RL just keeps getting worse and I am desperately trying to keep my head on straight and not drown in it. The good news is my Dad is doing ok but the cancer spread to a lymph node in the throat area. The drs are VERY optimistic and he has to undergo another 5 weeks of radiation which we started last week. I am so SICK of frackin drs, hospitals and tests but sadly that is not going to end anytime soon. In July I was on a heart monitor for a month and it seems the drs have lit a fire under themselves. :( Not sure what is going to happen as of yet but I received a call from a cardiac surgeon's office that he needed to see me and then immediately after I needed to see my cardiologist so I will see them September 8th. I got another phone call which I was not suppose to get yet but it was to confirm my September 28th cath um what?? I had to tell the secretary I have not seen the drs but guess she should pencil me in and hope the drs will tell me what the hell is going on. Since I just had a cath in January I am pretty sure this will be a little more then a cath but guess we will find out on the 8th. Has anyone discovered that RL logout button yet?? I really need one. lol

On to SL which has been ok as of late. I have been djing whenever and wherever I can. \o/ I have been filling in quite a bit at Club Industry and of course still rockin out at Sanctuary Rock as much as I can.

Sunday at Sanctuary Rock the drunkey bunch was in action once again and we had the sleep over event and well it seems my sis Lianne woke up with godzilla feet o.O

She is so going to kill me for posting this pic. lol

My sets at Freakheim have been not been right as of late and its not because of the club or anything like that but because my sis Rosie's pc will not run SL right now. Rosie and I had the Thursday 6-8 shift for almost 2 years and right now its just is not the same but I am sure I will get use to another host one of these days lol

Besides djing I have been working on some hunts. I finished the Goth hunt and the Zombie Popcorn. Both had some awesome prizes.

This copter is my favorite item and I just might have to dj one day with it. lol

One last comment. I have been watching all the stuff about Emerald, I am reading blogs and yea someone screwed up but you know what it is still the best viewer out there!! I tried viewer 2 HATED IT!! I tried imprudence HATED IT. I will stick with Emerald and they will have to pry it from my cold dead fingers. There was rumors that the lindens were going to ban anyone who uses Emerald well it was just that a rumor and completely untrue but if it had been true the lindens would have killed SL. When you are in a club of 52 people and every single person is using Emerald that should tell you something but the day the lindens start listening to the every day user hell will freeze over AGAIN.

til next time <3

The League Of Extraordinary Industrial Retards - Part 1

2010-08-03T07:14:00.000-04:00

Too Funny!

Song of the moment 10 July 2010

2010-07-10T11:13:00.001-04:00

Today is 7 July 2010 SL

2010-07-07T21:31:00.004-04:00

“True friendship isn't about being there when it's convenient; it's about being there when it's not.”

What to talk about first..oh yea I AM BACK!!! At least a bit more then I have been for the past 2 months. \o/ Hopefully within the next month I will be back most of the time. Barring any RL disasters.

Unfortunately I need to start off my blog with a bit of a gripe. WTF is wrong with people!! I will start off by saying you really find out who your true friends are when life kicks your ass!! These past few weeks have been very eye opening for me to say the least. I have found out who are my true friends and who are the ones that are only my friend because they needed something from me. To the latter I have this to say been nice knowing you but I don't need people like that in my life. See ya!!

**edited--I am not in the mood to be harassed atm so I have edited part of my post. ANONYMOUS next time try signing a name instead of hiding behind ANONYMOUS lmao

on to fun happy stuff. \o/

Last weekend I logged in to the best notice from a club I have gotten in a long time!!

"we are going to allow more industrial as well as some ebm at this point, it is discretional, if you dont want to play it you do not have to"

Yes I was all giddy when I read this and immediately imd the GM. lol I think I heard Guen giggling at me :P Thank you Mirari!!

Sanctuary Rock as most everyone knows is one of my most favorite places to spin and I do admit at times I pushed the envelope a bit with the industrial songs in my set but this change opens alot more music for me to play at SR \o/

[2010/07/04 13:38] EASY-TOOL Radar: enter chatrange: Zade Aeon (8m)
[2010/07/04 13:38] Lainey Thorne shouts: Hiya Zade
[2010/07/04 13:38] Zade Aeon: yayyyyyyy combichrist

I been djing every chance I can and hope to pick up more regular shifts but til I know for certain what is going to happen RL I will be filling in as much as I can and hanging out at a few of my favorite clubs.

The one thing that I did alot of was watch the world cup and I have to say it was a blast to watch. In RL I am half American and half German so I was pulling for both teams. Good thing they did not play each other lol Today Germany lost but they played very well and their country should be very proud. On Sunday it will be the Netherlands vs. Spain and it will be on during my set. hmmm maybe someone needs to suggest to the event manager to have a world cup event hehehehehe

ok think I have gone on enough!

til next time <3

p.s. yea I need to blog more often so I do not write books and not all over the place. lmao Keep telling everyone I am a bad writer.

A True Friend

2010-07-07T20:38:00.000-04:00

"A true friend will support you even if it hurts his/her own interest. A true friend will understand your motives and needs and will be with you without any analysis or criticism. A true friend will come forward to help without any request and be with us in need without showing it or expecting anything in return. With a true friend, you can be sure that you will get help to the extent possible by him/her. Nothing will remain unturned."

Today is 7 July 2010 RL

2010-07-07T20:20:00.001-04:00

Its been a long while since I posted anything and that's because real life is a mess and I am trying to survive. :( Things with my Dad have gotten real bad at the moment. He has gone through 2 weeks of chemo, 6 weeks of radiation, next week and the following week he undergoes a procedure to get internal radiation. Like the radiation he has gotten for 6 weeks is not enough. :( My Mom keeps saying he is disappearing before our eyes. My Dad has lost 60lbs since this started and can not eat or drink much of anything. He can not eat anything solid so he has to do food supplements to get calories and right now he can barely keep 1 down. Last week we ended up at the hospital because his blood work did not look so good and he had to be hooked up to a IV for a few hours. :( I think he could work through this but now he is in pain and he is shutting himself off from everyone. He got mad at me today cause he was in pain after his pet scan so I did 80 all the way home. How the hell am I not going to get him home as fast as I can when he is in pain. lol If I got pulled over the cop would have gotten a ear full and prolly would have regretted pulling this chick over. There are moments when I think my Dad just wants to give up and be done with everything. :( The fighter in him is worn down and frustrated but hopefully he will start kicking cancer's ass soon and not letting cancer kick his ass!!

On top of all this I have been hooked up to a heart monitor since the middle of June and it stays on til July 17th. My cardiologist visit did and did not go as expected. My Dr has not been able to meet with the surgeons in person and I am too complicated to be presented over the phone so I am still waiting for him to decide what I will be facing. He did mention transplant which I don't want to do. I have worked damn hard to keep this heart! lol The Dr also scared the crap out of my Mom which I could have killed him for but it seems with whats going on with my heart there is a small chance I could pass out and not wake up. Like that's not gonna happen. I have too many asses to kick to not wake up lol I see the cardiologist again in September, he may put me on some meds and hopefully will have met with the surgeons. Not that I am in a hurry for anything to be done unless its life threatening.

Things are hopefully calming down and I can get back to blogging about SL only and djing like crazy again :)

ok enough RL crap!! On to SL \o/

Song of the Moment 7 July 2010

2010-07-07T16:14:00.000-04:00

Eisbrecher \o/

Song of the Moment 30 June 2010

2010-06-30T21:11:00.001-04:00

Song of the moment 04 June 2010

2010-06-04T09:09:00.000-04:00

Today is...31 May 2010

2010-05-31T22:34:00.003-04:00

I survived last week \o/ To say it was a bad week would be a understatement but it could have been ALOT worse. We got my Dad checked in to the hospital Monday, by noon he was hooked up to the chemo and it did not stop til he left the hospital at noon Friday. The first 2 days were fine with no side affects but Wednesday the side affects started and Thursday was a very difficult day. It is very hard to look in to the eyes of your father, who has been strong as hell for you your entire life, and see such sadness but he pulled himself back up over the weekend. Not only did I have to take care of my Dad Friday but my mother also came down with the flu which made things a bit difficult. Chemo destroys your immune system so she had to wear a mask and could not even give him a hug when he got home. Never a dull moment. lol

Once I got Rl settled it was time to get back in to SL \o/ I was so happy when I was able to log in Saturday and to DJ.

Saturday I dj'd at The Hive and my brain was still a bit of a mushy mess so I was worried about the flow of my playlist but I ended up not needing it. lol My host Kura knows how much I love Rammstein and she is also a fan. I played Du Hast and then Feuer Frei and was told by my host and several patrons that no one would object if I played Rammstein all night so that's exactly what I did! \o/ My Mama even came to my set and stayed put for the entire 2 hours. lol It was definitely the perfect way to shake off the week and improve my mood 110%!!

Sunday I was back at Sanctuary Rock minus the drunkey bunch :( Lianne is still waiting for internet to be connecting but Amandy has been covering for her and doing a great job. We had the foot fetish event and as always it was alot of fun. Then Sunday night I was back at Derailed. I was a lil worried because I had no host and there was only 2 patrons to start my set but all you need is good tunes and a couple of fun people to have a great time! The party did grow because people were on the sim shopping and heard the tunes. One person literally came running in when I played Combichrist's This shit will fuck you up! That's one of those songs no matter how many times you play you can play over and over again. lol

Thanks to the holiday I was able to fill in at Club Industry and even though it was laggy as hell and mother nature decided to give me a time out it was a killer set! My sis Leona was even there which made it that much better. :))

I did make a decision to drop some of my sets at Sanctuary Rock. I was Djing at SR 4 times a week and love my sets but after ALOT of thinking I thought it was time to drop a set or 2. I know there is alot of new djs at SR who are just dying for a regular set so why should I hog 4 sets and with the way things have been in my RL I thought it was time to give some new talent a chance. Just so no one gets any ideas I am NOT leaving Sanctuary Rock!!! I love DJing at SR and there is no way I am leaving! I will be keeping my Sunday and Friday sets and filling in when I can. :)

I want to say a big congrats to my wifey Tempest and Stephen! They got married over the weekend and although I was not able to be there it was the best news I heard all week! I wish them love, laughter and all the happiness in the world! <3

No sets for me til Thursday night. I am planning to DJ at Freakheim but might be dragging a bit lol I have to get up at 5am every day for the next 2 weeks to get my Dad to the radiation appointments and Thursday he sees the oncologist. Its going to be a long day but I missed Djing alot last week so we will see how it goes.

Yes I am alive well sort of lol Hopefully be seeing everyone a little bit more this week!

til next time <3

Song of the Moment 31 May 2010

2010-05-31T21:43:00.000-04:00

This is the new project from Nine Inch Nails Trent Reznor; How to Destroy Angels The EP is going to be available tomorrow for free. Go here to sign up.

Today is...27 May 2010

2010-05-27T16:54:00.004-04:00

No long rambling post from me today. Just have to ask..

IS IT FRIDAY YET????????

This is just amazing

2010-05-26T12:49:00.000-04:00

Double-lung transplant patient to perform opera at Cleveland Clinic summit

Charity Sunshine Tillemann-Dick went to her first opera, Hansel and Gretel, at age 4. She knew then what she wanted to do and what she wanted to be.

She now sings soaring soprano coloratura, delivering difficult passages of high, rapid notes. She mastered the technique after years of rigorous training.

She hasn't let go of her dream, even though she battled pulmonary arterial hypertension for years before undergoing open heart surgery and a double lung transplant.

Wednesday she takes the stage at the Cleveland Clinic's Patient Experience Summit. She will dedicate her rendition of Gershwin's "Someone to Watch Over Me" to the doctors, nurses and hospital staff who saw her through it all.

The Denver resident began "building a relationship" with the Cleveland Clinic doctors shortly after she was diagnosed in 2004 at age 21.

Tillemann-Dick and her doctors in Colorado and at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore tried to deal with her condition through treatment. But the possibility of a transplant always loomed. She knew she would likely have it done at the Clinic.

"My doctors told me it was the best place to go," she says.

With pulmonary arterial hypertension, the blood vessels that supply the lungs constrict and the walls thicken, so the blood vessels can't carry as much blood. The heart has to work harder to force the blood through and pressure builds up. There's less blood circulating through the lungs picking up oxygen. Patients become tired, dizzy and short of breath.

Pulmonary hypertension was a "daunting prospect" for the coloratura soprano.

"The most important thing is air flow," she says. "It's tremendously demanding work."

Tillemann-Dick didn't tell many people about her condition so she could keep on singing. She wore a pump the size of a cassette tape strapped to her leg or torso.

"When I sang, it was the only time I did not feel challenged by my physical disability. I had this freakish lung capacity," she says. "But the truth was I was very sick."

By 2009, she was having difficulty singing. She had canceled 100 engagements in the course of a year and decided she could not continue.

"I realized I couldn't maintain my good name as an artist," she says.

She had the transplant at the Clinic in September and returned home at Christmastime, determined to sing again.

She took tentative steps toward music by humming. After a few weeks she tried to sing some gentle songs: jazz, folk music. More time passed. She moved on to more demanding music: theater standards. A few weeks later, she was singing her opera repertoire. In March, she began taking lessons again with her regular voice teacher.

"Coming back to Cleveland to sing is really a dream come true, considering I'm not even a year out," she said in a phone interview during a taxicab ride to the Intercontinental Hotel on Monday morning.

"It's a miracle and I'm so glad to share that."

She will be here today so I am going to try and see her perform. :)

Today is..19 May 2010

2010-05-19T23:58:00.003-04:00

"Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet”

I have not been writing much on my blog because RL is epicly bad right now and getting worse. The closer we get to Monday the worse it is getting and my family is so stressed and freaking out. I am the rock and everyone is unloading everything under the sun on me. If I survive the next few months without a visit to the nuthouse I will be doing good. lol

I try to log in to SL but my heart is really not in it right now. I am just logging in to work but that's not why I joined SL in the first place. I joined it for fun and now its become all about work?? WTF!

Speaking of work I dj'd the latex lovers event at Sanctuary Rock tonight. It was a slow night but we had a chatty few. I did get a im from a patron and I just have to ask....Guys does this ever work??

Mauricio Merchi: Hi
Mauricio Merchi: u have a home ?
Lainey Thorne: yes
Mauricio Merchi: mm ;D
Mauricio Merchi: u want to sex with me ?
Lainey Thorne: you want to be nuked??
Mauricio Merchi: no --'
Lainey Thorne: then try that crap on someone else!

Maybe not the best way to handle it but um it works for me. lol Have had a few guys ask the exact same thing and they get the exact same response. Usually after I ask if they want to get nuked they do not say much else. lol

Back at Sanctuary tomorrow and tomorrow night Freakheim! Not sure what I will play at Freakheim but as anyone who goes there knows it could be anything ;)

til next time <3

Songs of the Moment 19 May 2010

2010-05-19T22:56:00.000-04:00

Yes songs lol Guen and I were talking about Rammstein & Tatu mashups so I thought I would post some. Tatu & Rammstein work well together and the blending is awesome!

btw Tatu is NOT singing fuck a sheep, its "Покажи мне любовь" and it means Show me love!

There is a few more and I may post them at another time :)

Goddess grant me

2010-05-18T00:53:00.000-04:00

Goddess grant me the power of Water, to accept with ease & grace what I cannot change.

The power of Fire, for the energy & courage to change the things I can.

The power of Air, for the ability to know the difference.

And the power of Earth, for the strength to continue my path.

R.I.P. Ronnie James Dio

2010-05-18T00:46:00.000-04:00

I am quite sure everyone has heard the music world has lost another one of a kind voice. The world has lost another amazing performer but his music will live on forever.

2010-05-14T03:33:00.001-04:00

"One person's torture music is another person's favorite song"

No more YMCA for torture music lol Seems YMCA is only torture to me. People were talking about dressing up like the members of the Village People. o.O

Eddy Lowey: you have the whole crowd singing along to torture time...
Eddy Lowey: yer fired.
Lainey Thorne: yea I noticed
Lainey Thorne: I suck at torture music lol

I did redeem myself Thursday with the Spice Girls & Papaya's Pink Dinosaur. Poor Ylien was at home listening to the stream. lol

Ylien Braveheart: im getting torture at home ffs
Ylien Braveheart: noooooooo
Ylien Braveheart: nooooo
Ylien Braveheart: noooooooooooo
Ylien Braveheart: dies*

Poor Cookie Monster will never be the same. lol

Had some great sets at Sanctuary Rock and Freakheim the past 2 days. No sets for me Friday because RL will have me :( but I will be spinning Saturday night at The Hive \o/

Song of the moment 14 May 2010

2010-05-14T02:33:00.001-04:00

Song of the Moment 13 May 2010

2010-05-13T03:29:00.002-04:00

Song of the Moment 10 May 2010

2010-05-10T20:10:00.000-04:00

Today is...8 May 2010

2010-05-09T00:19:00.003-04:00

"The closest to being in control we will ever be is in that moment that we realize we're not.”

I have been all over the grid once again djing and have had some really great sets with alot of awesome people! My sets at Sanctuary Thursday & Friday were hopping with some regulars and some new faces. Its always great to meet new people! Friday afternoons at Sanctuary have become freaky family Fridays \o/ I start at 12 then Rykk my bro takes over at 2 and then at 4 is my niece Guen. Rykk and I did a double shot of Manowar Friday which was great!!

Thursday was my niece Rhyanna's rez day so Ishi threw her a rez day party at Freakheim and there was a real nice turnout for my set also. Some familiar faces from other clubs have discovered Freakheim which is very awesome. For my set I did double shots! Hey some artists it is just hard to pick one song from. NO I did not play Rammstein all night. lol Bane once again hosted and we had a blast!!

Friday night I was at Club Zero and brought a different set then I usually bring. I was a little worried how it would go over since I had not played any hardstyle there but I was in the mood for it so figured I would try it out. It went better then I thought and everyone seemed to enjoy it. Unfortunately that might be my last set for a bit at Club Zero. :( Hopefully I can fill in til RL calms down.

Today I had 2 sets. My first set was at a private club that I have been djing at for over 2 years and every other week I am amazed at not only the thought that goes in to planning the events but how much everyone dresses up for the events. Generally every single person who comes to the parties is dressed for the event and they are not your normal best in black or boots events.

Tonight I was at The Hive and I spent most of the set just giggling my ass off thanks to the insane trio of MandyPandy Tigerpaw, Rodrigo Hadazuma and Shadukha Druart. I have not laughed so much in a while and I needed it! If by chance you guys read this THANK YOU!!You have no idea how much I needed alot of giggle time ;)

Tomorrow I have 2 sets once again. Back at Sanctuary to party with the drunkey bunch \o/ and I snagged a permanent spot at Derailed now every Sunday 6-8pm slt. If your looking for fun be sure to stop by and have a beer with me ;)

To all the mothers Happy Mother's Day!

til next time <3

Song of the Moment 8 May 2010

2010-05-08T23:44:00.001-04:00

Today is...6 May 2010

2010-05-06T02:58:00.004-04:00

"What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise” ~Oscar Wilde

Seems the months of dealing with everything is hitting me at the worst possible time. I can officially say I am depressed as hell about life! I try to keep walls up to deal with everything in RL but they do not seem to be keeping the darkness out right now. I really need to get them back up because things are happening very quick. Next Friday my Dad sees the oncologist again and I think he will be admitted to the hospital on the following Monday.

I have not been on SL much lately except to DJ because every time I log in I tend stare at the walls of my castle and then just end up logging out. I really should log in and immediately go some place instead of just standing there.lol It does not help my Mama puts the WORST music on the SIM. Nothing like logging in to Lionel Richie!! WTF! I swear I am going to disown her lol She would rather listen to Abba then Manowar. Where did I go wrong!! At least I got her past saying all the German Bands sound like oompa oompa bands. lol

I began telling the clubs I DJ at that I will be taking some time off from Djing to be there for my Dad. I told them I will be taking a month off but I am not sure I will be able to do that. lol I am starting to wonder if the 2nd and 3rd weeks I could DJ at least at night. I just have been hearing all sorts of different things about how radiation affects people and I do not want to leave any club in a bind because I need to be there for my Dad. I have a feeling its going to be one of those damned if you do and damned if you don't things. I will be losing some of my sets and that is going to SUCK! I know people reading this will go good lord woman quit worrying about your sets but most people don't understand what djing means to me and how much I love it.

Before I was hired at Derailed I was talking to the head DJ and he commented that I have dj'd all over sl which is sort of true. At one point I worked at 8 clubs at one time and dj'd at least 2-3 sets every day. I don't do that anymore but I never get bored with Djing. I just have the best time when I get to DJ. Yea there is those sets where nothing you play goes right or you try a song and after the first 2 minutes go oh hell this will not go over well here lol or someone nitpicks what your playing, everyone is entitled to their opinion. As I keep saying one persons torture song is another person's symphony.

Had a couple great sets at Derailed and Sanctuary Rock the past 2 days!!

I am back at SR later today and it seems I have a different host..Demona?? hmmm wonder if I should bring extra beer. lol It should be a blast. Demona is a kickass host and I look forward to working with her. :))

I should not write a blog when its almost 3am. lol

til next time <3

Hope is the Thing With Feathers

2010-05-05T01:00:00.002-04:00

Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all,

And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.

I've heard it in the chillest land,
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb of me.

~Emily Dickinson

Song of the Moment 5 May 2010

2010-05-05T00:58:00.002-04:00

Song of the Moment 4 May 2010

2010-05-04T00:12:00.001-04:00

Today is...03 May 2010..SL

2010-05-03T01:45:00.002-04:00

“Music speaks what cannot be expressed, soothes the mind and gives it rest, heals the heart and makes it whole, flows from heaven to the soul.”

RL kept me away from SL but I was suppose to DJ last night at The Hive but AT&T had other ideas. grrrr My net was up and down like a yo yo most of yesterday morning then was up and then down til almost 5pm slt. My set was 4-6 so I had to ask Ishi to IM the owner of The Hive to let him know I would not make my set. I HATE missing my sets and hate it even more when I can not let someone know so a cover can be found. I know what its like when you have to scramble so I do not like doing that to anyone.

Today was Sunday so the drunkey bunch was back in action at Sanctuary Rock. We had the good n' plenty event. I think Guen is giving me all these color events to get me in to other colors besides black. lol We had a killer party and at one point there was 50 hellraisers and rockers partying with us. \o/

Someone needs to break it to Jigzzz that he can not have all nakie events. lol

What is up with rockers liking the Village People?? I really need to download some Barney or Teletubbies or something worse. I do know no one likes Barry Manilow! lol

One of the clubs sent a notice today and I almost fell out of my chair. It was concerning bad mouthing certain bands and refusing to play them. WTF!! Only music I do not play is hip hop, country and polka but have been known to play those for torture. I get a request at any of the clubs and it fits in the genre I will do my best to play that request!! I don't care if I like it or hate it. Its why I am there!! I am a dj and I bring the tunes. I admit I do not like thrash metal or death metal but if someone wants to hear it I will play it because that one song may make that persons day better. So how hard is that to get for some djs??

While I am on my soap box I have a pet peeve and am having trouble biting my tongue. What is with hosts and dancers siting in ims or on voice the entire shift? I have a different perspective then most djs because I started as a host in my first club so I know soon as someone hits the sim you need to greet them and keep the chatter going. It takes a person 3 minutes to decide if a club is worth staying at, if no one can bother to say at least hi to them they are gone and if no one is talking people will not stay. I try like hell to get people talking but I can not do it alone. Other then club business no host, dancer or dj should sit in ims chit chatting. Your only at the club 2 hours so it can wait unless its an emergency. I have told many people, just ask Ishi lol, that I am djing I will have to get back to them when my set is done because I need to give the club and patrons my full attention. I have some killer hosts and great dancers but some really need to remember why they are there and if not maybe they should think about giving the shift to someone else.

ok putting the soap box away and grabbing a beer ;)

til next time keep on rockin <3

Today is...03 May 2010..RL Stuff

2010-05-03T01:05:00.002-04:00

Cancer cannot destroy peace, suppress memories, silence courage, conquer the spirit, kill friendship, corrode faith, or cripple love.

I knew last week was going to be bad but thinking it would be and then having it turn out that way was two different things. :( It was a very long week with some good news and alot of bad news about my father.

My family and I spent most of the week down at the hospital with my father while he underwent tests on his heart, the EDG and met with Drs.

The good news is the cancer does not seem to have spread in to any of his organs or at least it is not showing up at this time. The bad news, there seemed to be alot coming from the Drs, is the cancer is in his esophagus, stomach, lymph nodes and there is concern about his liver. Some of the nodes the cancer is in go to the liver.

When we met with the oncologist on Thursday she presented us with 2 options. Option 1 is chemo & radiation then surgery or option 2 chemo & radiation. Both options work well but she was not sure if my father could have surgery because 15 years ago he had a heart attack and has some issues with his heart. Friday morning we met with the surgeon and we were told his heart has some serious issues that will need to be addressed and that surgery was out of the question. Friday afternoon we met with the radiation dr and my father will be going in the hospital soon. The plan is week 1 in the hospital, he will receive Chemo & Radiation twice a day every day for 5 days, week 2 & 3 he will receive radiation every day and week 4 he will be back in the hospital for another round of chemo & radiation every day for 5 days. The radiation Dr. talked to us about the nodes that go to the liver and told us there does not seem to be any cells at the present time but they may be microscopic and none of the tests will pick it up at this time but the chemo "should" kill those cells.

On May 11th I have to take my father to the hospital because they are doing a radiation simulation. They will scan him with different settings to see which one will attack the cells the best way. I do not have the admission date yet but most likely I am going to have to take some time off from Djing during the week and try to fill in if I can. I know SL should be the least of my concerns but it really does keep me sane. Then again I am not sure I could have put a playlist together Friday night. lol

I am trying to keep everyone positive but its hard when I am so exhausted that I can not think straight. Dr speak can fry your brain after 1 visit. We saw 4 different drs over 2 days so my brain is beyond fried lol

ok enough about RL...on to better stuff in my next post.

Song of the Moment 2 May 2010

2010-05-02T22:07:00.000-04:00

I love this song & video. I play this at Sanctuary Rock quite a bit because sometimes it is just SO appropriate. lol

Song of the moment 29 April 2010

2010-04-29T01:15:00.002-04:00

Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night

2010-04-28T01:10:00.002-04:00

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

~Dylan Thomas

Today is...27 April 2010

2010-04-27T20:16:00.002-04:00

Here is proof that I do occasionally wear something that is not all black! lol When Lianne told me that Guen was not only coming to my set this past Sunday but was going to be in orange I figure I better go dig in my inventory. Guen seems to think I only wear all black which is true 98.9% of the time ;) Had another great set at Sanctuary Rock and we even got to initiate a new member in to the drunkey bunch \o/ Just wonder if Hall will be back next Sunday ;)

Yesterday RL pretty much had its grip on me :(

I was back today with a vengeance though. I was put on trial at Derailed to see if I was up to the challenge of spinning there on a regular basis. If I was found innocent they would feed me to the rats, stingrays and whatever else they had under the club that needed a snack. o.O The pressure was on but at 1:26 pm the honorable Judge DaemonChadeau Nemeth announced the verdict.

DaemonChadeau Nemeth: WE THE PEOPLE OF THE =DERAILED= VIP JURY...
DaemonChadeau Nemeth: FIND THE DEFENDANT DJ LAINEY THORNE...
DaemonChadeau Nemeth: GUILTY...
Lainey Thorne holds her breath
DaemonChadeau Nemeth: OF BEING A =DERAILED= DJ!!!!
Lainey Thorne: \o/

It was a blast and I am very happy to become a member of the Derailed staff. I already snagged a regular set there every Tuesday 12-2pm slt.

Tomorrow night I will be back rockin at Sanctuary Rock but then will be gone for a few days due to RL :(

til next time <3

Song of the moment 27 April 2010

2010-04-27T20:00:00.001-04:00

Heard this several years ago but it still is a awesome song today!!

Today is....25 April 2010

2010-04-25T13:22:00.003-04:00

Its been a busy couple of days for me. I have been rocking all over the grid! \o/

Had a killer set at Sanctuary Rock on Friday. The lindens tried to wreck a good party with mad lag and crashapalooza but 55 rockers hung on and we had one hell of a party!!

Last night I had a trial at The Hive and it was definitely memorable. lol I have been djing over 2 years and you would think I would not get a bad case of the nerves the first night at a new club but NOOO I was nervous as hell. Started the set off by messing up the radio station name and then of course me and my mad typos lol For some reason I just could not get Radio Black Light out right lol Luckily I get a chance to fix that my next set because they are letting me come back :))

On Tuesday I have another trial and its another kickass club. Derailed!! \o/ I love spinning EBM & Industrial so I have been trying to add a few clubs that allow me to just play that. Derailed is a great club with a amazing reputation! Luckily I think I can get Derailed out without messing it up too bad but you never know lol After this trial I will be done picking up new clubs and shifts.

Today is Sunday. My favorite set of the week. The drunkey bunch is in action at Sanctuary Rock for the juicy orange event. No Guen I will not be wearing orange. I don't own any but I am sure you can guess what color I will be wearing ;) lol

ok real life note here so if you don't want to know stop reading NOW!

RL might be a bit rough this week. Lots of Dr. visits for my dad. Tomorrow he has to have a echo on his heart to make sure it can handle radiation and surgery, Thursday he has the edg done and we meet with the oncologist. I think Thursday we will find out exactly how bad the cancer is and where it has spread. Friday he is already scheduled for radiation. We have no idea what to expect or how my father will handle the radiation. If it was heart stuff we would know but this is all new. :(

Unfortunately due to RL I will be missing my set at Sanctuary Rock Thursday and possible Friday. :( I HATE missing sets but I know one of my fellow hard rocking DJs will keep the party going!

ok time to break out the beer and get ready to raise alot of hell!!

til next time <3

Song of the moment 25 April 2010

2010-04-25T12:59:00.001-04:00

Awesome song by a German band!! Discovered them through a request from a patron at Sanctuary Rock. This is why I love requests!!

Today is...22 April 2010

2010-04-22T12:09:00.001-04:00

I was doing real good posting every day but this week I have been keeping busy getting stuff done in RL before everything with my Dad starts.

I have had some kickass sets this week at Sanctuary Rock! Sunday was a blast til the sim went down. Leave it to the lindens to ruin a good party lol Luckily there was only 15 minutes left in my set. Last night we had another killer party even though for some reason people were real quiet. o.O That will not work with me around lol Its a party people not a wake!

Anytime Guen and I switch we always do a double shot of Queensryche or Rammstein. I have to admit I did not have alot of Queensryche when we first started doing it but I went on a quest for some more and found alot of great tracks. I did not play them very often but Guen has helped me discover what a truly great band they are.Thanks niecie <3

Its official I am not good at torturing people with music. lol I play William Shatner, Tempest and Vincenzo are singing along, I play Eddie Murphy,Vanessa is singing and dancing along and we will not even talk about the Candy Girl herself singing along to New Edition. lol I play Richard Cheese and everyone is loving it. I think the only thing people have hated so far is Grease! WTF! I may have to go on a quest for really really bad music or start playing hip hop which I HATE!! It just proves one persons torture music is another's symphony.

Luckily I did not have to torture anyone last night. Lets hope today is the same way!!

til next time <3

Song of the moment 22 April 2010

2010-04-22T11:54:00.001-04:00

My favorite Marilyn Manson song is This is the New Shit but this is a twist on that song. Goldfrapp remix o.O

Song of the Moment 19 April 2010

2010-04-19T15:26:00.001-04:00

I am still in shock over the death of Peter Steele so I wanted to post another one of my favorite songs from Type O Negative.

Today is...18 April 2010

2010-04-18T13:24:00.003-04:00

My folks are off the North Carolina for the week which will do them alot of good and it will give me a chance to breathe for a week and prepare for what is coming. Next week might be a real bad week. My dad has to get a echo on Monday and Thursday the edg and we meet with the oncologist. :( I am keeping my fingers crossed that the cancer has not spread and is treatable.

ok enough RL stuff at least for the week. :)

Yesterday RL had me handcuffed to it so did not get to do anything I wanted to do lol Isn't that always the case though! I figured I would hang out with friends and maybe work on a hunt but NO RL would not let me log out! lol

Today I am back at Sanctuary Rock with the drunkey bunch lol Lianne has been my host on Sundays for a while and Dorientje joins us so we are always tossing beers & sliding shots of tequila to each other. Sundays are my favorite shift because Lianne has become one of the closest friends and we always have a blast!! :) If your bored be sure to come by at 12pm slt and we will be sure to toss you a beer or 2 ;)

til next time <3

Song of the Moment 18 April 2010

2010-04-18T13:11:00.002-04:00

Killer EBM song by Faderhead.

Today is...17 April 2010

2010-04-17T15:25:00.002-04:00

I have not posted the past couple days because Thursdays and Fridays are my busiest days.

Thursday had 2 killer sets at Sanctuary Rock and Freakheim. My sets were filled with several songs from Type O Negative as a tribute to Peter Steele. Everyone at both sets agreed the music world lost a great performer and a unique voice. The wonderful thing is his music will live on forever and generations to come will be able to enjoy his music.

I was not suppose to DJ at Sanctuary Rock yesterday but unfortunately the trial dj had sl issues so it did not happen but I got to dj the mind over matter event and had a blast as always. \o/

Was at Club Zero last night and had a great time. I got to spin 2 nonstop hours of ebm & industrial. woo hoo

This morning I hung out at SR and listened to a bit of Oz's set and then stayed for Ylien's set. Both are kickass djs!! I like listening to other djs especially djs from around the world because alot of times you get introduced to bands you do not hear in the US.

No sets for me today unless I snag a shift. What to do with myself..hmmmmmmmmmmmm

til next time...keep on rockin <3

Song of the Moment 17 April 2010

2010-04-17T15:10:00.000-04:00

Generally you will only hear me play techno once in a blue moon. One of the reasons I like covers so much is to see what someone else does with a favorite tune. Some are good, some are bad and some are oh hell no they did not!! lol DHT has taken some 80's classics and given it a techno spin.

Song of the Moment 16 April 2010

2010-04-16T11:28:00.001-04:00

Awesome song from SITD!!

R.I.P. Peter Steele

2010-04-15T12:47:00.004-04:00

Yesterday the music world lost one of its most unique voices when Type O Negative's singer Peter Steele died of heart failure at the age of 48. People were not sure whether to believe this because in 2005 there were unconfirmed rumors of Steele's death after the band's website posted an image of a tombstone bearing his name and the dates 1962-2005. Steele was not dead; the gag was related to their signing with a new label and Steele did disappear for an extended time with no explanation from the band or management.

Unfortunately this time it seems to be true.

As a tribute to this musical genius I will be including some Type O Negative songs in my sets at Sanctuary Rock and Freakheim today.

Song of the Moment 15 April 2010

2010-04-15T12:34:00.003-04:00

Pillar-Not Without a Fight

Today is April 14, 2010.....SL

2010-04-14T02:34:00.004-04:00

"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out." ~Walter Winchell

wow I am writing real blogs and not just posting videos, poems or pics. lol

When I found out about my father I thought about leaving SL for a little while but after talking with my Mom (who is also in SL and the reason I am) we decided that would be the worst thing possible. We know we need SL, the people and the distraction now more then ever. I did tell a few people what was going on, sent notecards to the clubs I work at so they knew I might miss some sets and why. The support and messages I have received have been amazing. From the bottom of my heart THANK YOU!!

My niece Guen wanted to design something for Relay for Life and found her inspiration. Guen created 2 very very killer tats and each is based on a song by Rammstein (complete with song lyrics as part of the design). They are at her store Collisions so please if you can go by and pick them up. All procceds go to Relay for Life. Even if you don't wear any tattoos and are not a Rammstein fan this is still a very worthy cause. Guen you are a kickass designer and a incredible writer! <3

This past Sunday I made my return to the stage at Club Industry. I had to drop my shift there a few months ago and had not been able to fill in but it was great to be back there. Club Industry is one of the best clubs for EBM & Industrial. I was excited to be back there but of course the lindens had to mess the party up. Soon as my first song played they decided to restart the sim lol 20 minutes later we were back partying. Had a blast. Music really helps me deal with everything.

Was off Monday and Tuesday but Wednesday I will be rocking Sanctuary Rock 4-6pm slt with a punk event. Time to break out the Sex Pistols, Ramones and Rammstein. Hey its me even a punk event will have Rammstein ;)

til next time...Keep rockin!! <3

Today is April 14, 2010.....RL

2010-04-14T01:41:00.001-04:00

As much as I want to keep this blog strictly about SL that is going to be a little hard for me right now so if you don't want to hear about RL stuff stop reading.

2 weeks ago my main concern was kicking bronchitis' ass and getting back to rocking the grid but news that my father has cancer changed all that in a instance! Now I am dealing with insurance companies, advance directives, living wills, doing cancer research on the internet (which I really don't recommend doing), trying to make sure my parents stay positive and trying not to choke the living hell out of idiots!!

Today we begin the battery of tests to determine how bad the cancer is. My dad is having a pet scan. Sounds like something my dog should have and not my dad but its a acronym for positron emission tomography scan. Wasn't this something in Star Trek? We were not sure he was going to get the test because as of yesterday the insurance company was not approving the test. WHAT?? How can you not approve a medically necessary test?? Spent most of the morning on the phone with the insurance company and finally we were told its covered but not yet approved. Either way he is getting the test! Bad thing is I think the calls to the insurance company are just starting which boggles my mind. You have people fighting a disease they should not have to fight to get help!

If the insurance company was not bad enough some idiot overhears my dad talking to some of his friends, walks over and says yea my brother had that same cancer....He died 3 months later. WTF!! What would possess anyone to walk over and tell someone that?? The one thing someone needs is HOPE! You do not take that away EVER.

Song of the Moment 14 April 2010

2010-04-14T00:57:00.002-04:00

Cry Little Sister is one of those timeless songs. It was on a soundtrack for a movie that came out in the 80's but the song still sounds great today. I play it quite often and everyone loves it. There is of course several covers. Think I am up to 8 different versions. lol This version I just found and think it is the best cover of Cry Little Sister I have found so far. Judge for yourself. :)

Song of the Moment 13 April 2010

2010-04-13T01:37:00.000-04:00

Yep another cover. lol Anyone comes to my sets knows I LOVE covers!

Song of the Moment 11 April 2010

2010-04-11T14:17:00.000-04:00

It can't rain all the time

2010-04-10T21:35:00.001-04:00

Even in the darkest of times light will eventually find its way through one way or another. Some days it is really hard for me to believe that in RL right now. Since January it seems like it is just one thing after another and its not going to get better anytime soon. This past week brought another level of really bad news. My Father was diagnosed with Cancer. He has adenocarcinoma of the esophagus, stage 3 and the tumor is the size of a baseball. :( Of course like anything with my real life family we never do anything easy lol The cancer is a rare form and goes undetected for alot of people. Yesterday I spent ALL day downtown with him meeting with a surgeon and oncologist. The surgeon was optimistic but very honest and told us it is going to be a long tough fight. The oncologist well I might have to choke the living hell out of her because said there may not be anything she can do but she has to wait to see the results of a ultrasound and edg. As far as the surgeon is concerned my father will be having several tests, chemo and surgery. I will prolly be off and on sl for a while because I will be going with my father and fighting right alongside him.

Thankfully I finally kicked the bonchitis' ass and am back djing! The one thing that will help me deal with all of this is SL and Djing. Djing is a life saver for me because for 2 or 3 hours I can crank the tunes, hang out with kickass people and just shut out rl for a lil while. To the clubs I work for THANK YOU!! To be able to dj means so much to me.

To my husband, family and friends..Thank you for your love and support!! I have told some of you what is going on and you have offered me hugs, a shoulder to cry on and more then I could have expected.

I have to say a very very special thank you to my niecie Guen. All I can say is WOW!! The blog you posted means ALOT to me but one of these days I am gonna have to kick your ass for making me cry. Thank you Guen! You are amazing!!

Next blog will hopefully be more sl and less rl but had some stuff I needed to say.

Song of the Moment 10 April 2010

2010-04-10T20:32:00.000-04:00

Awesome song and not just cause its Rammstein. :)

Song of the moment 06 April 2010

2010-04-06T17:35:00.003-04:00

Covers FTW!!! EBM cover of Billy Idol's White Wedding.

Key to my heart

2010-04-06T03:38:00.002-04:00

I had closed the door upon my heart

and wouldn't let anyone in

I had trusted and loved only to be hurt

but that would never happen again

I locked the door and

tossed the key as

hard and as far as I could

My heart was closed for good

Then you came into my life and

made me change my mind

just when I thought that

tiny key was impossible to find

that is when you held out your hand

and proved me wrong

inside your palm was the

Key to My Heart

You had it all along

Where in the world is Lainey??

2010-03-31T20:03:00.002-04:00

DJ Lainey has been having issue with her bionic appendages. She Took herself to Jiffy Lube but they just gummed up her gears... (And they weren't all that "Jiffy" about it either) **Thanks Hazard for one of the few giggles I have had in a week ;)

In other words the flu is kicking my ass! :( Last Wednesday I went to the dr because I have having issues breathing, felt like I had weight on my chest, wheezing and when I took a deep breath it burned. I have had those symptoms before and it was always bronchitis but I was seeing a young new dr and what should have been a simple visit for antibiotics turned in to me being put on oxygen, emts being called to take me to the er, being poked, prodded, xray'd and being told I had asthma. Bad thing is I have been through this kind of thing so many times and it is always a dr freaking out on me and not listening but focusing that I have a heart condition. Here I am a week later; fever going up and down, body aches, wheezing, weight on my chest, trouble breathing, coughing my lungs up and no voice but hey its asthma so the inhaler they gave me should make me all better. Yea I am upset cause I feel like hell and sick of being sick! I want to get back to rockin and hanging out with everyone. If the drs had listened and put me on antibiotics maybe I would be back to rockin by now. I am debating going back to the dr because I have no voice and last week I had a voice but they did not listen and I really really do not want to visit any er again.

Hopefully I will be back to rockin very soon!!

Seize The Day

2010-03-24T02:22:00.000-04:00

Just a moment in this lifetime,
Just a tragedy ahead.
Not knowing where each turn will lead,
Within seconds we might be dead.

Live each day to the fullest,
Do not stop to wonder why.
Do everything your heart desires,
In dreams, reach for the sky.

Surprises at every stop sign,
With its share of wrong ways and dead-ends.
Statistics don't help you with the future,
They only tell you where you've been.

With so many people among us,
There are no certainties.
And all it takes is just one person,
To reroute history.

Don't waste one single moment,
How very precious that they are.
What seems a long way off,
Is really not that far.

Just Breathe

2010-03-21T18:26:00.001-04:00

So simple and so thin
a small action
so full of life.
So great yet so common
each inhale a measure of love.

Just Breathe.

So powerful and energetic
yet so peaceful
and calming.

Just Breathe.

Everything will get better
every breath a piece of hope
take a chance to see
and believe in it.

Just Breathe.

So light and warming
so glorious and worldwide
yet so untouched
so refreshing and spiritual.
A slice of sunshine,
a lake of water.

Song of the Moment 14 March 2010

2010-03-14T19:39:00.001-04:00

Here are the lyrics translated

my pain is constant and severe,
and I hope for nobody for a better world,
I would even, that my pain is added to other,
I want nobody to get off.....

but even after I admit, there is no catharsis,
my punishment eludes me still,
and i dont come to any deeper insights about myself.

from my telling, no new knowledge can be extracted.

this confession was completely meaningless !!!

Song of the Moment 13 March 2010

2010-03-13T13:21:00.001-05:00

Song of the moment 08 March 2010

2010-03-08T15:16:00.001-05:00

Song of the moment 03 March 2010

2010-03-03T13:39:00.000-05:00

Since I fail epicly at posting every day think I am just going to switch to posting song of the moment lol

Fail..lol

2010-03-03T13:10:00.000-05:00

So much for me posting every day lol

Sl has good and bad going on. In world has just really been bad this week. Last night I was trying to hit some Midnight Mania boards & work on a hunt but everytime I tried to TP boom crash. I ended up logging off because I was just so frustrated. I kept waiting for the ims Lainey you having issues? lol

I do see the lindens finally are getting a little bit smart about xstreet. They are making it it ALOT easier to transfer funds from in world to your xstreet account without the need of a terminal. \o/ I think they are trying to make up for pissing everyone off with the proposed changes and fees they were going to institute. As of today the fees have not gone in to affect so I still use xstreet but once they do I will no longer use it.

Hopefully the lindens are actually starting to pay attention to every day users and not just lindens. The lindens have had the attitude of well what are they gonna do they have no place else to go but sooner or later they will have serious competition. I LOVE SL but some days I can not even stay in world and hate to love it!! lol

Friends

2010-02-27T11:20:00.000-05:00

Song of the day 27 February 2010

2010-02-27T10:47:00.001-05:00

Five Finger Death Punch + insane snowboarders = WIN! ;) Yep I like to watch the x games!!

Blah..Blah..Blah..ok just did not know what to title this lol

2010-02-26T13:38:00.000-05:00

After spending a few days reading the forums and listening to everyone debate the new viewer I decided to try it out. After the 4th crash I was finally able to at least get a look and the interface and wow it SUCKS!! Anytime you create new software your suppose to go forward not backwards. I like the interface to take up as little space as possible so I can see people, things, designs and all the good stuff sl is about. Not have it cluttered. The other thing I noticed was trying to find the settings that use to be easily accessible, like voice. My SL is all about music. Everything I do I listen to music and do NOT want nor need voice!! The lindens seem to be on a mission to make everyone use voice but I will never use voice in SL. Downloaded, Tried, HATED it and uninstalled. I will stick with Emerald!

Yesterday was Rammstein day \o/ Soon as I hit the sim at SR before my set I got 5 ims asking if I could please play some Rammstein and Judd a member of my dj group ims me and tells me he needs a big dose of Rammstein. lol Last night I dj'd at Freakheim and had brought a EBM/Industrial set but that changed quickly when everyone wanted Rammstein! Hey I am not complaining lol Though I did learn a valuable lesson. I need to stick with what I initially decide for a set. I was going to do ALL German but changed my mind at the last minute. Needless to say the set I brought I threw out and it ended up a ALL German set. lol

Song of the day 26 February 2010

2010-02-26T13:23:00.000-05:00

New Viewer??

2010-02-24T12:58:00.001-05:00

Yesterday Linden Labs released the beta version of the new viewer. I spent some time on the forums reading what people had to say and of course some love it and some hate it. My issue with this is why are they worried about a new viewer when in world is such a mess! The lag is getting worse every day, rezzing takes forever, tps are hit or miss for alot of people, inventory's disappearing and logins seem to be disabled every couple days. One would think you would look very hard at these issues and work to correct them before rolling out a new viewer. Linden labs better get their shit together because competition is on its way.

Yesterday I was so frustrated with lag, slow rezzing and tping that I was wondering why I even bothered to log in. When it takes me 20 minutes and several crashes to get some place it makes me wonder why I even try.

Hopefully today is a better day but I am not gonna hold my breath. Like everyone else I will deal with it and laugh at the insanity . SL we really hate to love you some days!!!

Song of the day 24 February 2010

2010-02-24T12:45:00.001-05:00

\o/ for covers!! This is a great cover of Metallica's Nothing Else Matters.

Myspace vs Facebook vs Avatars United vs Blogspot vs Moolto

2010-02-23T16:46:00.000-05:00

So the lindens recently acquired their own social networking site. My question is why?? Don't we all use enough other sites already!! I really think the lindens need to focus on fixing the current SL issues and less time acquiring new stuff. Orginally I set up a Myspace for my avatar because it was what I knew but then I was convinced to set up a facebook cause that was what everyone was using. ok 2 sites cool. Then blogspot pops up so ok a blog would be cool but then it spiraled from there!! I honestly would love to have just 1 site that has all the advantages of myspace, facebook, AU, Blogspot & Moolto but I do not see that happening!!

I of course had to check out AU and as of right now it sucks!! The only thing I like is I can blip to the AU community when I am djing and it gives the url where I am at but thats about it. Since joining I have added 10 people I actually know and talk to and 50 people I have no clue who they are but they sent me add requests. I get at least 20 group invites a day that usually are far from my interests. Guess I am going to have to add a note that I do not accept random friend requests or group invites. It will look like my profile lol

No one better come up with anything else because I am not joining anymore!! lol

Songs of the day ;) 23 February 2010

2010-02-23T16:30:00.000-05:00

I have been slacking on the songs so I am posting a few today. I was at Freakheim last night listening to the one & only Freak Magnet's (which kicked ass like always!!)set and he played some In Extremo, a German band known for their use of bagpipes on their songs. Quite a few German bands use bagpipes and its gives them such a unique sound. One of the reasons I love German bands!!

Song of the day 21 February 2010

2010-02-21T18:58:00.000-05:00

Black Label Society is a favorite band of mine. All their tracks are just killer and Zakk Wylde is a kickass guitarist!!

Music

2010-02-21T03:02:00.002-05:00

Song of the Day 20 February 2010

2010-02-20T19:46:00.001-05:00

Just one word about this track AWESOME!!

Moments

2010-02-19T01:31:00.001-05:00

There are moments in your life that make you and set the course of who you're going to be.
Sometimes they're little, subtle moments.
Sometimes, they're big moments you never saw coming.
No one asks for their life to change, but it does.
The big moments are gonna come.
You can't help that.
It's what you do afterwards that counts.
That's when you find out who you are....

Emerald

2010-02-18T20:06:00.001-05:00

Emerald came out with a new version today and like always I checked out the preferences to see if there was anything I needed to change. I went to the 2nd tab and what did I see but a spell check tab!! woo hoo Yes I am very excited about this new feature because of all the typos I make!! It will not save me from typing sex instead of sec but just might have me a lil bit or well at least I can hope. shush people I can hope!!

Is it me or does the lag issues seems to double daily anymore??

Song of the Day 18 February 2010

2010-02-18T19:54:00.003-05:00

Had been good and posted something every day as of late but pesky rl got in the way yesterday.

Tonight at 6pm slt I will be spinning a 80's set at Freakheim so I thought I would post one of the best covers EVER of a 80's song. Its even a anime version in honor of my niece Ishi. Its alot easier to find anime vids then the actual video. WTF! lol

Megaherz-Rock Me Amadeus

Just breathe

2010-02-16T13:05:00.001-05:00

Sometimes we all need to take time to just sit back, enjoy what is around us and just breathe!!

Song of the day 16 February 2010

2010-02-16T12:35:00.002-05:00

Long time EBM & Industrial Club favorite.

I need to stay off You Tube

2010-02-15T12:32:00.001-05:00

If I do not close you tube SL may not see me today lol LOVING this song!!

Song of the day 15 February 2010

2010-02-15T12:01:00.001-05:00

New Band I ran across and definitely liking them!!

Song of the day 14 February 2010

2010-02-14T11:17:00.001-05:00

I love covers! I play them quite often and have been know to play nothing but covers for 2 hours. Some are good, some are bad and some are what the hell were you thinking. Assemblage 23 is a great industrial & electronic band with some killer tracks. This song was a hit in the 80's by the Psychedelic Furs but Assemblage 23 made it all their own!

Everything happens for a reason

2010-02-13T14:15:00.000-05:00

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there... to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson or help figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be but when you lock eyes with them, you know that every moment that you are with them, they will affect your life in some profound way. And sometimes things happen to you at the time that may seem horrible, painful and unfair, but in reflection you realize that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, will power or heart.

Everything happens for a reason! Nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere, safe and comfortable but dull and utterly pointless.

The people you meet affect your life. The successes and downfalls that you experience can create who you are, and the bad experiences can be learned from.... In fact, they are probably the most poignant and important ones. If someone hurts you, betrays you or breaks your heart, forgive them because they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart. If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally not only because they love you, but also because they are teaching you to love and open your heart and eyes to little things.

MAKE EVERYDAY COUNT! Appreciate every moment and take from it everything that you possibly can, for you may never be able to experience it again. Talk to people who you have never talked to before, and actually listen. Let yourself fall in love, even if it doesn't seem right because you are too young or too far, just follow your heart. Surround yourself with those who make you smile, laugh, and make you happy.

Break free and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don't believe in yourself, no one else will believe in you. Create your own life then LET GO and LIVE IT!

Song of the day 13 February 2010

2010-02-13T13:48:00.001-05:00

This is a song that I hold very close to my heart and always will.

Returned to Freakheim \o/

2010-02-12T13:15:00.002-05:00

Last night I made my return to Freakheim Funeral Home after being gone and what better night to come back then for Rykk's birthday! What a great party it was!!

Rykk is a great boss, a hell of a dj and the best brother in SL. He is also one of the people I admire and have ALOT of respect for. Thank you for being my brother, friend and mentor Rykk!! <3

Song of the day 12 February 2010

2010-02-12T12:53:00.002-05:00

If anyone looks at the clubs I dj for they will see that I like ALOT of different genres. I love rock but I am also a EBM & Industrial girl.

My love of German Music

2010-02-11T17:13:00.004-05:00

As anyone who comes to my sets on a regular basis can tell you I play ALOT of German music. I LOVE GERMAN bands!! They have a distinct sound all their own and when I am having a crappy day I throw some of my favorite German bands and 20 minutes later I can breathe again. Gotta love the power of music! A good band to me does not have world class lyrics but a great sound. I always get ims about how can I play any song not in English when I do not know the words. You just have to listen!!

Song of the day 11 February 2010

2010-02-11T16:40:00.002-05:00

Found this band while looking around You Tube for some new bands. They are new to me and so far like their sound. Their videos are blech!!! lol

A writer I am not

2010-02-10T11:11:00.001-05:00

Not sure why I have this blog cause honestly I SUCK at writing. Maybe its a outlet for me, maybe it will help me become a better writer or it will just be another distraction for me. Regardless its here. A place for me to post all sorts of stuff that I feel the need to say hey world I like this or I needed to say that!! Anyone who actually gets past the ramblings and reads my blog thanks for listening to my words and hopefully as time goes on I will ramble less and get to the point. Thankfully the blog has spell check so no one has to suffer with the typos they deal with in world. lol

Song of the day 10 February 2010

2010-02-10T11:02:00.004-05:00

Actually its a live performance from this years Grammy Awards. I do not watch the grammys other then for the live acts and I record them so I can fast forward through the crappy ones. There was more then a few this year I fast forwarded through lol Green Day rocked. Who would have thought that Green Day would bring something to broadway but they have and then they brought some of the cast to the Grammy's. This was the best performance of the night in my opinion.

I have been a fan of Bon Jovi's since well forever. I was fortunate enough to see them perform live and they put on a great live show. Its good to see them still rockin and they rocked the Grammy's.